[With the question out, Sakura's thoughts can't help but mirror May's -- that this has "Bad Idea" written all over it, and what the two of them need more than anything is distance and time.
It doesn't change that what she ends up feeling is a deep sense of relief when May gives her the truth. For better or worse, the Mayship is like her home. Where would she even go? It'd be too much to ask her sister for help, and even Kei.
And more than that... she cares too much about May to leave her alone on this giant ship.]
-That was a relief they shared, with May's smile softening again, warm as it had been before, letting out one last sigh.-
Thank you... I'm gonna do my best to make sure neither of us regrets this, okay? No matter what happens, you and me... We're gonna be alright. -She needed to believe that.-
[It takes effort to restart her enthusiasm after that conversation, but Sakura likes to think she manages all the same. Smiling brightly, she pulls back some hair over her shoulder.]
It's a rum cake, so it still needs to chill a bit.
Gives me time to finish my breakfast, then! -May leaned back, re-positioning the tray before she lifted the plate and started to just sort of... shovel eggs into her mouth. Completely unceremoniously.-
[Heh. Hehe... well, Sakura isn't going to complain about the normalcy. It's just May being May, and... and that's good, right? Like everything is normal in their world.
Like her best friend hadn't just confessed her affections and Sakura shot her down.
... Smile brightening again, like a reflex, Sakura fiddles with the bed sheet before speaking up almost timidly.]
[The whole day is meant to be a present, really. It's why she supposes now is as good a time as any. The cardigan she's wearing has a pocket on the inside, and after a beat, Sakura reaches inside, gently digging out what she ends up presenting to the other girl.
It's... a bracelet. An obvious callback to the gift May had given her. But this one isn't quite aged, more obviously in good condition, a set of orange gems connected by a golden clasp. All of the stones are the same size, except for one in the middle -- slightly larger, and with more pronounced detailing that might remind one of ocean waves.]
-While Sakura's own eyes had certainly seen softer sides of May before, given how close they were, there is still an uncharacteristically 'fluffy' quality to the way May's disposition shifts, warmth radiating as she took the bracelet, thumbing over each gem...-
[She wasn't sure if May was one for jewelry, or anything as expensive as the bracelet she's holding in her hand (Sakura is absolutely not telling her the price point unless cornered), but the soft gaze and softer words bolster her relief.]
-Between everything else that morning, and now this, her attempts to get an even closer look at the 'wave' markings in the gem ended up for naught, as her vision started to blur. A sniffle, and rubbing at her cheek, and it was soon obvious... Oh. She'd started crying.-
I love it! I... um... -Sniff. Damnit, she'd been doing so well... Now it felt like it was all threatening to breech, like a damn bursting.-
Because she wouldn't blame her friend if this gift hit like a double-edged sword; it's why Sakura was hesitant to give it to her after... everything. She frets on the bed, looking to May but not reaching out yet, already concerned that she'll do damage.
(Is this how it's going to be for a while...?)]
May-chan... [What she does end up doing is scooting closer, so that they're settled side by side, and after a pause, she nudges the other girl with her shoulder]
-May rubs at her face, letting out a frustrated groan that's just as quickly followed by a nervous giggle. This was... embarrassing, but she couldn't hold it in. Not only was she pretty much incapable, even if she was, she couldn't. She had to... be honest with Sakura. From here on. About everything. And that included her emotional vulnerabilities, didn't it?-
Sorry it's just... It's a lot of things, you know? But I am happy... Not just with the gift, but that... you didn't run away, or wanted to leave me, even if you didn't return my feelings...
-She sniffled, rubbing at her face some more. Damnit, she could barely see...-
I don't want to have a life without you in it, and this... -She held up the bracelet.- And this is really pretty, too. I love it. -Ugly crying, aside.-
Happy tears then. Immediately Sakura relaxes, bumps her shoulder against May's again with more feeling this time.]
Don't worry, I would never leave over this.
[Maybe one day they'll have to cross that bridge -- Sakura hasn't promised she won't love another, or that one day she might find a reason to live elsewhere, but that day isn't today and she's thankful for it.]
I can't imagine a life without you, either. That hasn't changed.
Then... that's probably the best birthday present I can hope for. Still being able to be by your side. -It still felt so selfish to say that, but the awareness of it didn't stop her from doing it. It didn't stop her from clinging to what she still had. She'd always been that way, refusing to let go of those she close to, even if it might have been healthier to do so. She still visited Yin every day, after all, and she'd been off the network for months. Sakura occupied real estate in her heart, and she never wanted that to change even if...
... even if it was going to hurt sometimes, knowing they didn't see each other the same way. But it was fine, so long as she still got the be with her in some way... right?
She hadn't realized it... but she was clutching the bracelet rather tightly. Her knuckles had gone white.-
We're gonna try, at least... -May's hand relaxed, at least a little, once she felt Sakura's touch. She was getting too lost in her own head for a moment, and the anchor back to reality helped more than she could say.-
From now on, no more stuff held inside between us. We're gonna survive this weird new world together.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It doesn't change that what she ends up feeling is a deep sense of relief when May gives her the truth. For better or worse, the Mayship is like her home. Where would she even go? It'd be too much to ask her sister for help, and even Kei.
And more than that... she cares too much about May to leave her alone on this giant ship.]
Okay. Then I'll stay.
no subject
Thank you... I'm gonna do my best to make sure neither of us regrets this, okay? No matter what happens, you and me... We're gonna be alright. -She needed to believe that.-
Now... I know I smelled baking earlier.
no subject
[It takes effort to restart her enthusiasm after that conversation, but Sakura likes to think she manages all the same. Smiling brightly, she pulls back some hair over her shoulder.]
It's a rum cake, so it still needs to chill a bit.
no subject
no subject
Like her best friend hadn't just confessed her affections and Sakura shot her down.
... Smile brightening again, like a reflex, Sakura fiddles with the bed sheet before speaking up almost timidly.]
I still have to give you your present, you know.
no subject
no subject
[The whole day is meant to be a present, really. It's why she supposes now is as good a time as any. The cardigan she's wearing has a pocket on the inside, and after a beat, Sakura reaches inside, gently digging out what she ends up presenting to the other girl.
It's... a bracelet. An obvious callback to the gift May had given her. But this one isn't quite aged, more obviously in good condition, a set of orange gems connected by a golden clasp. All of the stones are the same size, except for one in the middle -- slightly larger, and with more pronounced detailing that might remind one of ocean waves.]
... It reminded me of you.
no subject
It's beautiful...
no subject
[She wasn't sure if May was one for jewelry, or anything as expensive as the bracelet she's holding in her hand (Sakura is absolutely not telling her the price point unless cornered), but the soft gaze and softer words bolster her relief.]
I mean, of course, if it's not to your tastes...
no subject
I love it! I... um... -Sniff. Damnit, she'd been doing so well... Now it felt like it was all threatening to breech, like a damn bursting.-
no subject
Because she wouldn't blame her friend if this gift hit like a double-edged sword; it's why Sakura was hesitant to give it to her after... everything. She frets on the bed, looking to May but not reaching out yet, already concerned that she'll do damage.
(Is this how it's going to be for a while...?)]
May-chan... [What she does end up doing is scooting closer, so that they're settled side by side, and after a pause, she nudges the other girl with her shoulder]
... Don't force yourself, okay?
no subject
Sorry it's just... It's a lot of things, you know? But I am happy... Not just with the gift, but that... you didn't run away, or wanted to leave me, even if you didn't return my feelings...
-She sniffled, rubbing at her face some more. Damnit, she could barely see...-
I don't want to have a life without you in it, and this... -She held up the bracelet.- And this is really pretty, too. I love it. -Ugly crying, aside.-
no subject
Happy tears then. Immediately Sakura relaxes, bumps her shoulder against May's again with more feeling this time.]
Don't worry, I would never leave over this.
[Maybe one day they'll have to cross that bridge -- Sakura hasn't promised she won't love another, or that one day she might find a reason to live elsewhere, but that day isn't today and she's thankful for it.]
I can't imagine a life without you, either. That hasn't changed.
no subject
... even if it was going to hurt sometimes, knowing they didn't see each other the same way. But it was fine, so long as she still got the be with her in some way... right?
She hadn't realized it... but she was clutching the bracelet rather tightly. Her knuckles had gone white.-
no subject
... Sakura absolutely does. But this time, she won't let her smile waver, instead reaching over and grasping May's hand into her.]
We'll be okay.
[Even if it takes a while, Sakura doesn't have the strength to believe anything other than that]
no subject
From now on, no more stuff held inside between us. We're gonna survive this weird new world together.