[ he probably shouldn't dwell on it too long, besides. he's determined to latch onto this good mood. john clambers up into rocinante, gesturing for his guest to follow; may brought beer, and it looks like john has whiskey in one of the cabinets. go figure. ]
[ noting may taking that pull, john's surprised into silence for a second or so. ]
Oh. Sorry. [ wait, no. he's second-guessing that anyway. ] I know you mentioned havin' some issue there a while back, but I guess I didn't realize somethin' like that happened.
[ should he have? is more the unspoken question on his mind. ]
It's fine. I was trying to keep it down low, ya feel me? For awhile, I thought I could ignore it, since it was probably for the best I never told them. But stuff happened, and...
[ this is a wee bit harder to hear than he expected. the only change in john's expression is a shifting into something more neutral; he brings his glass to his lips to sip his whiskey. ]
I mean, you don't gotta tell me the details, but...
[ with the hesitation and carefulness with which his words come, it might be evident that john doesn't want to be too nosy-- not really. but he won't deny that he's curious as to a few things, if only because he does consider may to be a friend: ]
How long were you keepin' that to yourself...? Or just from them?
From most everyone, except for Kei. -A big sigh.- And I held it in for almost half a year. It didn't really work out. I even got the fool headed idea to try and get them to fall *for me* so I wouldn't have to hold onto those feelings any longer.
[ for the sake of john's sanity, he's going to pretend that's probably a different kei from the one he knows (impossibly slim chance). he takes another drink, staring down at the rippled surface of the amber liquid. ]
Well, I know people can go years and years holdin' onto unspoken feelings like that. [ or so people hear in stories, anyway. ] But even half a year sounds like hell, to me.
[ at that, he's setting his glass aside and whipping out his wallet. from one of its pockets, he slides out several small photographs. most of them feature his family in different settings, though at notably nicer occasions that warrant use of someone's camera: at a dinner, a pretty garden, or at a sister's wedding.
regardless of the scenery, john flourishes each one of them, most of them featuring his siblings, the three individuals at the bottom of the image. ]
See? That's my youngest brother. He's ten! Well, last time I saw him, anyway. Hard to catch him and even harder to get him to take a bath. Bet it is still. [ a grin. he points to a woman with long blond hair; the bride of the wedding pictures. ] And thaaaat's Rose. She's my younger sis! Not youngest, we're actually not too far apart in age... [ uh, there might be a slight wrinkling of his nose. slight, barely perceptible. ] Anyway, Rose is a good gal, she never would get off my damn back 'bout... well, just 'bout everythin'.
[ oh, but now for the finale! john jabs a finger at the girl with the shorter hair. ]
And that's Ruthie! Aww, lookit her. You'd like her a ton, May. She's the type that won't hesitate to pop you one if needed. Trust me, my other brother knows. She's also a natural-born swindler, I swear. ... But, y'know, the type that's just too cute to do any wrong.
Oh she IS cute. -May cooed over the picture, taking a sip from her beer.- And that's definitely the most dangerous kind. I could have her running this town inside a week. Hell, she'd probably take over my territories, too. Usurp me as Recolle's cutest criminal mastermind.
—Not that I'm tryin' to, uh, you know... [ teach her criminal stuff, is how he doesn't finish that. listen, he's also just pleased that ruthie gets cooed over. ] But still, I know you'd do good by her, 'less you guys started on some turf wars or whatnot. But even then, I think it'd work out fine.
[ his smile widens. ]
[ ... oh, wait. it took a while to process, but upon seeing her sip her beer: ]
[ after a beat or so, cue a brighter smile-- new beginnings for better or worse, they're still new. perhaps that could be welcome. john raises his glass of whiskey towards her. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ wait, it's clicking. ]
—You had the same name for the boat as you did your new one, too? Or, past life one, I guess.
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[ he probably shouldn't dwell on it too long, besides. he's determined to latch onto this good mood. john clambers up into rocinante, gesturing for his guest to follow; may brought beer, and it looks like john has whiskey in one of the cabinets. go figure. ]
[ he offers her a renewed smile. ]
Anyway! How have you been, May?
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Well. You know how it goes. The hustle never stops...
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[ he'll pour himself a glass of that whiskey, propping himself against the counter. ]
So... hustlin' both in dealin' with Retrospec, and havin' to make that money? —Those two things haven't stopped, anyway.
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[ noting may taking that pull, john's surprised into silence for a second or so. ]
Oh. Sorry. [ wait, no. he's second-guessing that anyway. ] I know you mentioned havin' some issue there a while back, but I guess I didn't realize somethin' like that happened.
[ should he have? is more the unspoken question on his mind. ]
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It's fine. I was trying to keep it down low, ya feel me? For awhile, I thought I could ignore it, since it was probably for the best I never told them. But stuff happened, and...
Point is, I got rejected. Gently, but... still.
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I mean, you don't gotta tell me the details, but...
[ with the hesitation and carefulness with which his words come, it might be evident that john doesn't want to be too nosy-- not really. but he won't deny that he's curious as to a few things, if only because he does consider may to be a friend: ]
How long were you keepin' that to yourself...? Or just from them?
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Well, I know people can go years and years holdin' onto unspoken feelings like that. [ or so people hear in stories, anyway. ] But even half a year sounds like hell, to me.
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... Fuck, this is depressing. Let's talk about you for a minute.
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[ hmm ]
[ nothing less depressing at work, definitely nothing uplifting about retrospec ]
[ oh! ]
—Wanna see some pictures of my family?
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[ at that, he's setting his glass aside and whipping out his wallet. from one of its pockets, he slides out several small photographs. most of them feature his family in different settings, though at notably nicer occasions that warrant use of someone's camera: at a dinner, a pretty garden, or at a sister's wedding.
regardless of the scenery, john flourishes each one of them, most of them featuring his siblings, the three individuals at the bottom of the image. ]
See? That's my youngest brother. He's ten! Well, last time I saw him, anyway. Hard to catch him and even harder to get him to take a bath. Bet it is still. [ a grin. he points to a woman with long blond hair; the bride of the wedding pictures. ] And thaaaat's Rose. She's my younger sis! Not youngest, we're actually not too far apart in age... [ uh, there might be a slight wrinkling of his nose. slight, barely perceptible. ] Anyway, Rose is a good gal, she never would get off my damn back 'bout... well, just 'bout everythin'.
[ oh, but now for the finale! john jabs a finger at the girl with the shorter hair. ]
And that's Ruthie! Aww, lookit her. You'd like her a ton, May. She's the type that won't hesitate to pop you one if needed. Trust me, my other brother knows. She's also a natural-born swindler, I swear. ... But, y'know, the type that's just too cute to do any wrong.
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[ his smile widens. ]
[ ... oh, wait. it took a while to process, but upon seeing her sip her beer: ]
We forgot to cheers...
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-Guess she really had tanked her mood earlier...-
Well... Whaddya wanna cheer to?
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[ john picks up his glass again, swirling the contents as he looks into it, ]
Cheers to "new beginnings"? Or is that too corny?
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[ after a beat or so, cue a brighter smile-- new beginnings for better or worse, they're still new. perhaps that could be welcome. john raises his glass of whiskey towards her. ]
Cheers, then! To "new beginnings."