Nah, 'asshole' is a good term for it. I was trying to shoulder a whole lot of things on my own, refusing to let anyone help me. Because I'd always been that way, able to survive by myself, and part of me thought I'd be weak if I let anyone into my struggles, even just a little bit. Even... for things like this... -Another bite, another sip, another sigh.-

After last month, I was basically forced to look at my life, where it was now, and how much different it is than I ever expected to be. Not just because of retrospec and the stuff I see the other me go through, or the memories my friends all have to face. Just all of it, together. My childhood, my life now...

I always thought... I had no right to burden others with my problems, you know? That everyone was already dealing with so much, that I'd only just be another problem... Well, it turns out my feelings are another thing I was ready to just square up and prop up onto my back and carry like a weight, even if it killed me...