[ nothing else could have flashed Jen back to that moment in that dream any faster than this. even if it had come up prior, Jen might have tried to deny that it happened, because it was too real. too painful, in a few ways, and not just the most obvious ones.
she could have - should have? - just left it at this. for a long moment she's just... there. present in the kiss but not into it at all. but after a mental kick in the teeth for herself she brings herself to take Satsuki by the shoulders and angle herself to actually indulge in the act.
that's really all it would be, right? indulging. she could blame it on a lot of things. the heat of the moment. adrenaline. lust. she's so selfish and she knows it. even if her relationships since "waking up" have been built upon a give-and-take dynamic, she has been taking a lot more than she feels is fair. just like right now, taking advantage of Satsuki's affections knowing full well that there were fundamental differences in what the two of them wanted or needed right now. ]
no subject
she could have - should have? - just left it at this. for a long moment she's just... there. present in the kiss but not into it at all. but after a mental kick in the teeth for herself she brings herself to take Satsuki by the shoulders and angle herself to actually indulge in the act.
that's really all it would be, right? indulging. she could blame it on a lot of things. the heat of the moment. adrenaline. lust. she's so selfish and she knows it. even if her relationships since "waking up" have been built upon a give-and-take dynamic, she has been taking a lot more than she feels is fair. just like right now, taking advantage of Satsuki's affections knowing full well that there were fundamental differences in what the two of them wanted or needed right now. ]